Haha so...I feel silly.
Anyway my venting's over...sorry it was so weird.
On a happier note today I will be going to a top secret, strictly on a need to know basis meeting with some of the other agents. I'd tell you more about it, but then I'd have to kill you...
Just kidding =] We don't do that anymore, erasing someone's memories is the hot new thing to do. You might be a little disoriented afterwards, but no worries, it wears off...or at least I think it does.

Haha anyway a big happy early birthday to Kumquat =] =]

All Of This

When I was younger I used to sit in my room and listen.
I always knew when it was going to get ugly because my mom would walk into my room and tell me to close my door.

I wonder if they knew that no slab of ivory-painted wood would keep their heated words from going through our paper thin walls and into my ears.

I wonder if they truly know how much I've heard.

Sometimes I'd cry into my pillow at night so that no one heard me, but deep down inside I secretly wished that someone, anyone, would walk into my room and comfort me. But no one ever came.

I used to never understand why my brother and sister always argued with our mom and step-dad but as I grow older it's all getting clearer. Our mom and step-dad get so angry over the littlest things...I think it's because they're unhappy.

Neither of them planned for a life like this. Both of them used to be just a kid, like me. They pictured themselves as happy, successful grown-ups living the American Dream. They deserve a happier ending than the one that they ended up with.

Even though as the three of us get older, everything mellows out. There's a lot less yelling and arguing...you could even say that things are almost, almost close to being normal. But sometimes, every once in a while someone will blow up and a fight begins, except this time instead of simply listening, I find myself being a part of it. I just...don't like the pain that sorrow brings.

I'm sorry, this is weird. I don't really know why I'm writing this. I guess I want to talk. My family doesn't talk or dicuss anything rationally, they only yell and during arguments emotions run high. I don't want pity or sympathy or anything of the sort, I just don't want to fight or yell or anything anymore. I want to talk.

...I need to stop writing like this, I'm sorry again, for my weird little vent. This is what happens when I'm alone too long, my thoughts wander into the restricted corners of my mind.

This is a really long entry...sorry.

But one last thing.

To Wavery Smithers, I really hope you read this.

You're pure sunshine. I mean a day without you is a day in the dark.
You're bright and bubbly and have the ability to put a smile on anyone's face.
I could go on forever about how amazing you are, truly, I could but I'll save that for when I write in your make-shift yearbook.

Anyway...you going away if hard for everyone; Kumquat, Rachelle, me, and I know it's definitely hard on you too. But I want you to know that I think you going to the new school next year is the right thing.

I would jump through hoops if that would make you stay and you mean so much to me, so it isn't that I want you to go but I want you to be happy.
You need to do what you want, it's your life and you need to do what makes you happy.

One of the best secret agents I know wrote something to me a few days ago. She told me that she would love me forever and always and then for infinity.
So, I'm going to make a promise to her now. That I'll love her forever and always and then for infinity also.

And I pinky promise that no matter where life takes us we will always be friends.
I hope you remember one thing:
The people around us may influence our lives, but they do not control them. We are in control of our own lives.
So don't let anyone tell you thast just because you're farther away that you can't keep your old friends. It's up to you to decide wether you want to keep us around or not.
(But I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to keep *us around? We're like the coolest kids ever :D)

Love,
009

P.S. I'm also saving the cornier and more sentimental things for your make-shift yearbook... :p

* When I say 'us' I mean our group :p

This corny joke keeps floating around in my mind. My oldest sister told me it last summer.
It goes like this:

A: Do you know why Williw Nelson really died?

B: No, why?

A: He was playing 'On The Road Again'

Told you, ut's corny :p
For all who don't know, Willie Nelson came up with the song 'On The Road Again'.

(This is the song for all of you who've never heard it)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TD_pSeNeIU

They May Have Won The Battle...

For once I don't have to blame my faulty immune system for having to stay home.

The enemy snuck into my house yesterday night and switched the normal milk with milk that had expired...three days ago. Three whole days!

It was pretty clever if you ask me.

So, having been clueless I drank the spoiled milk... and spent the rest of the morning bent over waste basket. It's as fun as it sounds.

It's Time To Give Credit Where Credit Is Due

The other day I went swimming with my mom at my cousin's house . I was putting sunscreen on, you know to prevent ultra violent rays from seeping into my skin and causing irreverseble damage, when suddenly I noticed my belly button.

I kid you not, I'd forgotten all about it, I mean my belly button! The very spot where I'd been attached to my mother almost fifteen years ago.

I was ashamed, have I been taking my belly button for grantide? Have you?

It's such an easy part of the body to forget or ignore. I'm not saying we need a day devoted to belly buttons or anything, but I think some appreciation towards them would be nice.

Afterall, they did contribute to keeping you alive for about eight, give or take a few, months. So next time you're sitting at home, staring at your ceiling or counting sheep in your head, take a moment to remember your belly button and appreciate that you've even got one. It'll only take a few seconds and trust me, those sheep will still be there when you're through.

Love,

009

Like, Ohmigod

Guess what? It's like totally the day before Rachelle's birthday! She's like turning fifteen, isn't that like amazing? No joke, she's like...the coolest person ever and like stuff.

Haha had an amusing, fun, somberero-filled pre-birthday day with Rachelle, whom (Whom or who?) I love with all my heart.
And we both glow :D

Love,
009

A Kumquat A Day Keeps The...Deep & Strangely Irrelevant Thoughts Away

Well, sometimes she provokes the little part of my brain that generates all of my deep and strangely irrelevant thoughts, in a good way, I mean.
Agent Kumquat brought up a very good point in a comment, it got me thinking about plants. There's supposed to be a balance. We need what plants give us (Oxygen) and plants need what we give them (Carbon Dioxide). According to that everything should be equal, we shouldn't have excess amounts of Carbon Dioxide, but still we do since the ratio of plants to animals isn't equal.

So...more plants less people?

What do you think?

Love,
009

When the Music's Over

I won't get the full Prom experience until my Junior year, but tonight I got to dip my feet in the shallow, beginner waters of MORP. The entire dance was like being lost in some sort of euphoric jungle, which is appropraite enough seeing as our mascot is 'The Wildcat'.

It was chaotic and crowded and amazing, a place where strange, scantily-clad creatures roamed. Really, there was no dress code whatsoever, and it got pretty disturbing at times, but all in all it's a good time.

Anyway there are four weeks of school left, it's a lovely yet sadening thought. Two whole months without seeing my most of my closest friends...thank goodness for snail mail.

Is it just me or does everything feel more mellow than before?

I don't know.

I've been thinking alot lately though. I mean people are starting to go against popular culture, the only reason being that it's, well, popular. As an example, the Twilight books. Sure Stephenie Myers has millions of adoring fans, but then there are the anti-Twilighters, who despise the book and it's author. I have no beef with those who've read the books and don't enjoy them, but it's the people who don't read the books and then very vocally express their hatred for them.

Or with food you've never tried before. If you haven't heard a certain song, or tasted a certain food, read a certain book, or met a certain person then how do you know if you like it or not? Some will bash celebrities that they've never before met when in actuallity that celebrity could be a very nice person.

I wonder as to why we do these things, not everyone does this, but some people do. I don't know. I guess for now it's best if we all just keep an open mind.

Goodbye for now,

Love,

009

Thoughts on Living

Have you ever thought that maybe all of those other species got it right and we're the ones who have it all wrong?

Life Lesson of the Day

In any type of war, wether it be between two people or two countries, there are no good or bad sides since both sides are right and wrong in their own ways and the only thing we have to show for this is the pain and confusion left by those who try and convince us otherwise.

(Like so many other things this made much more sense in my head.)

Times They Are A-Changing

Do I like Bob Dylan?
His voice is, well, according to a corny mid-nineties movie spoof it has the ability to destroy aliens. I don't know where I stand with him, I mean some people think he's one of the greatest musicians one will ever come by while others have said that he makes their ears bleed, it's harsh, I know.

I really like his song 'Times They Are A-Changing' and desputably mediocre voice or not, his songs do have very insightful, enlightening messages. I don't know, I think I do like him, I mean I'm not prepared to become an extreme, die-hard Dylan fan but when asked I won't deny that I listen to his songs. Anyway what do you think? Of Bob Dylan, I mean.

Okay, my mind's going a mile a minute right now so I'm sorry if I jump around alot. You know how people always announce that they have to 'go pee'? I have a theory as to why, a few theories actually. My favorite one is that half the fun of saying something like 'I have to pee' is that the other person didn't need to know it.

I don't know what it is but recently I've been feeling super happy. Unbeknownst to most people the end of '09 and the beginning of 2010 were really hard times for me. Things got bad, and I mean really bad, I had never experienced that level of bad before. And the worst part is I know that there are other people in the world who have it ten times worse, and although my family is a tangled and utterly imcomprehensible mess, I'm really glad that I have one.

Anyway lately I've been really happy, maybe its Spring's sunny weather or a new perspective on things, or most likely my wonderful, absolutely amazing friends. Hmm, I think it's the latter of the three, really they are amazing, I don't know what i did to deserve such great friends.
Really, I'm going to need reconstructive jaw surgery from smiling so much.

There's something weird all over my desk...it isn't water, because it's sticky but dry at the same time. This concerns me.


Oh! Okay, so I have to make an extra credit poster in Algebra on the Pythagorean Theorem. We need to make our own word problem and illustrations and everything, and mine is about a pirate! Are you up for the challenge? Can you solve the ultimate Pythagorean Theorem question?

Okay, so here it goes:

Zack encountered a math problem that he couldn't solve. The problem went like this:

Sid the pirate stood on a beach five miles away from his ship and three miles away from a chest of burried treasure. How far away from the burried treasure is Sid's ship? (Side B is 3 mi. and side C is 5 miles, find A)

Bonus Question:

How far would Sid have to travel to get to the the treasure and then back to his ship?

I know, this is probably the simplest Pythagorean Theorem problem known to man, the answer is four, which means the bonus question is seven. Haha, this makes Zack from the word problem look extremely simple, seeing as he couldn't solve the problem...although my brother Zack did it in his head :p


Anyway to my friends, who are pretty much the only people who read this, one again I love you all. I'm also in a very sentimental mood so expect very large hugs tomorrow...which is Thursday for those who read this later on in the week.

Well, I think my work's done here.
Feliz Cinco de Mayo,
Love,
009